Have you ever been in a position where you wanted to express some sort of emotion or thought with someone you have feelings for, but you didn’t? OF COURSE YOU HAVE! We’ve all gone through it. Even if you don’t go through it anymore, you’ve gone through it! So let’s talk about it. Now I’m not just talking about feelings of love/lust, etc. It could be anger, resentment, or disappointment. No limits here. Why is it so difficult at times to share your feelings with someone you care about?
Well if it’s some sort of the cliché love/lust type feelings, then rejection often proves quite the deterrent when it comes to sharing (depending on where you are in that situation). Hence why people say no one wants to be the first one to say “I love you”. You don’t want to risk the awkward moment of the other party saying something like “O ok, good to know”. The same can be said for simply trying to initially rap to a girl or guy. No one likes rejection, so few want to risk rejection.
If you wish to express your disappointment with something, or discuss some sort of treatment you don’t agree with (i.e. “YOU CAN’T CAWL NO BODY?” *Jerome voice*), you may not share for fear of an argument or fight breaking out. You may feel like the other may blow the subject out of proportion. Or you may feel like the other may take the subject too lightly, and you’ll blow up. Either way, it can result in you bottling up said feelings.
HERE’S THE QUESTION! Should you always express your feelings to someone you have them for? Will there always be a proper time/place for said “discussions”? Now off top many of you may say “HELL YEA”, but let’s take a step back and review it.
I’m sure you’ve all heard some form of “If you have something to say you should say it”, or “Never hold back your true feelings, b/c you may never get the chance to share them again”, or “I’d rather say “At least I tried” than say “What if””. Even “Yeezus” said “People never get the flowers while they can still smell ‘em”.
Now all that does sound fine and dandy but what bout overkill? What if you decided to tell someone you love them every single time you had the thought? When I love someone I think about it quite often. If you’re anything like me, that may result in quite a few calls, program interruptions, etc. Is there no risk of it losing its flavor to the recipient?
I hear you when you say “you should never hold your feelings back”, but why not? Don’t we hold back some kind of feeling(s) in life all the time? Like the feeling of wanting to slap your *insert person here* if they piss you off? Or the feeling of wanting to cuss that cop out b/c “there are real crimes they should be out fighting instead of wasting time giving you that speeding ticket”? We hold back these feelings because we ultimately see no positive coming out of it at that time right? Maybe? How about maybe we should hold some feelings back to give the other person a chance to express theirs? That may be crazy enough to work *shrugs*.
I’ve heard people say you shouldn’t ask questions you don’t necessarily want to know the answers to. That actually makes sense to me. That doesn’t mean that you may never ask the question (i.e. do you love me like I love you). It could just mean you may not be ready for the response at this time (because it might be negative). Maybe in time you’ll have built up the strength to be ready for whatever answer you receive.
Might there be a need for a certain balance when it comes to expressing your emotions? A sort of “pick your battles” situation perhaps? Even armies didn’t have to fight/win every battle to win a war right? Would it be okay if I decide to just “let this go” and either visit it later or get over it altogether? Sometimes I do feel like everything doesn’t need to be said. However, how can one truly decipher what ultimately gets to lay claim to the distinction of “discussion topic”?
No this is not some blog where I have some definitive answer at the end. Yes I can be just as confused as the next guy. Maybe that’s why I always ask “Hey, what do I know?”