Monday, August 30, 2010



“How the hell could you mess with another woman’s man!?”  “Do you really want to keep getting his sloppy seconds!?”  These are just a couple of the phrases that we hear all too often when people address the matter of the mistress, mister, or quite simply “the side joint”.  As long as I can remember, it’s being the side joint has always been taboo.  They’re never respected, and people tend to blame them for the break-up of a happy home.  People generally don’t see what good could come out of being the side joint.
My question is this:  Have you ever truly asked a side joint why they would choose to be just that?  Everyone speaks up for the boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife.  Yet no one speaks on behalf of the third party.  Well even criminals get to be heard/represented in a court of law, so I say let’s look into the potential benefits of being on the side.
Ideally, one benefit of being the side joint is the no-strings-attached-sex.  Think about it!  Often time, if a taken man or woman gets involved with you, it’s usually for sex and not much more.  Now one may argue that you can get that kind of sex from a single person.  I won’t argue that possibility, but all too often we’ve seen or experienced the situation where one person begins to want more than sex.  Did you ever stop to think that this happens because that person has the option of focusing all their time on you?  Undivided attention from her can often equate to unwanted attention from him.  Start sexing someone who can only afford to pay you limited mind, and you’re good.  Of course nothings guaranteed, but if I were a betting man, I’d most certainly play those odds.
Now let’s address the opening lines of this entry.  How could she mess with another woman’s man?  Easy, she’s attracted to him, and she has no ties to the other woman (or maybe she does have ties to her and just doesn’t give a damn).  Maybe the question you want to ask is, “how could he mess with another woman?”  As for the one about sloppy seconds; seconds are only sloppy if you’re eating directly out of his plate.  So as long as she bathes regularly, there’s nothing sloppy about it.
People like to call side joints home-wreckers, but are they really?  They usually have no attachment to the home ‘nor the other people in it.  It’s not their job to preserve the home.  So if anyone’s a home-wrecker wouldn’t it be the boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife in question?  Actually let’s go out on a limb and look at it from another angle.  Often time a side joint may help to distract a person from whatever’s making them unhappy in their relationship.  If the side joint is successful in serving as this “escape” of sorts, then the chances may be better of that person going home happy.  If they’re happy, and they make their unsuspecting partner happy, then wouldn’t that make the side joint sort of a home-preserver?  There may actually be some good in the bad you accuse them of doing.
We tend to bash the side joints of the world, but are we really just in doing so?  After all, don’t we support music that glorifies cheating?  “Me and Mrs. Jones”, “Kiss and Say Goodbye”, “As We Lay”, “My Little Secret”, “Boyfriend Number Two”, and the list goes on.  We don’t condemn these people, so why should we condemn the people who simply seem to be living out these lyrics?  After all, “A meal ain’t a meal without something on the side”…Right?

Thursday, August 5, 2010


“Why be in a relationship if you’re going to lie?” 
How many times have you heard that line?  So many people believe that there should/will never be any lies in a perfect relationship.  What is a perfect relationship anyway?  We may have to address that in the next blog post.  But I digress.  A relationship isn’t necessarily bad if there are lies that are told.  Just like many facets of a relationship (or life in general), it’s all relative.  Let’s look deeper into this.
If your woman asks you if she looks fat or ugly in an outfit, you may have been taught to tell her she looks fine, just to avoid any conflict.  This is an instance where the truth should probably be told; because if you think she looks bad (and you’re a man) then lord knows who else will share your same feeling.  The same applies vice versa.  Don’t you want your better half to look like your better half?  I believe issues like how your lady looks in a dress or to-do’s on a list shouldn’t be lied about.  What are you truly protecting by lying about it?  If the truth were to come out that you lied about these little things, then your bf/gf might wonder what else you’re capable of lying about.
Sometimes lies are just plain necessary.  Yea I said it!  Let’s be honest (no pun intended), if we told the truth to our significant others 100% of the time, then they’d probably break up with us about 80% percent of the time.  Can you imagine always telling your girlfriend or boyfriend every time you had a lustful thought about another person if they asked?  How about if they ask how many people you had sex with (assuming you had a high number)?  Or if they questioned whether you’d be into certain things that you know they’re not (i.e. orgies, swinging, anything)?
Countless times I’ve heard women ask “why must a man lie about cheating on his woman.”  He lied because he doesn’t want to lose his woman.  He wants to keep his relationship in tact!  If he told the truth, she might up and leave.  “Then why not leave her for the other woman?”  He may have 100 reasons for that.  Now I’m not going to get into the whole why men cheat debate, but you wanted the truth, and there’s your truth.
People don’t really want to know the truth to the questions they ask.  They wish to believe they want to know, but they soon find out they can’t handle the truth.  Even as much as I’d like to believe that I can accept any truth my woman tells me.  She may possibly be holding the one straw that could break this camel’s back.  Lying in a relationship may not be the most positive method on the surface, but it might possibly be the best option considering all possible alternatives.  There’s some truth for you.  Now can you handle that?