“You ever think about taking a break?” “I think we need some time apart.” “Maybe it’s time we took a break…from us.”
You may have heard some form of the phrases on T.V., in your friend’s relationship, or maybe even in your own. If you’re anything like me, your response may be something like “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN A BREAK FROM US?” Or “SO YOU’RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?” Now here’s where it gets iffy. Apparently there are people who don’t see this as a break-up. They literally see it as a break. They wish to cut off all contact for some unspecified period of time until they decide if/when they’re ready to be together again.
HOW THE FUCK IS THAT NOT A BREAK-UP? Seriously people, think about it! It may be one thing if you’re up under someone everyday in a new or fairly new (unestablished even) relationship. Then you may want to scale back some. But I’m not addressing the rookies. I’m talking about those in firmly established long-term relationships. The ones that may see marriage as a possibility (or inevitability). How do you figure a “break” is: 1.Necessary, and 2.Not a break-up? I guess I’ll take this time to figure the difference people find between the two.
Those who are pro-break seem to simply see it as time apart.
As an anti-breaker I ask: Time apart to do what exactly? See others? Be alone? Will there be no seeing each other? No speaking to each other? Or both? Is this some “absence will make the heart grow fonder “ shit?
A pro-breaker may say it gives one time to analyze their situation.
Well what the fuck have you been doing? Have you just been living in some sort of ignorance?
A pro-breaker may say it can allow them to focus on other aspects of their life.
So is your significant other a distraction? So much so you need a “break”? Should you even be with them then? Is the break supposed to help you figure that out? If so, then is your question not already answered?
A pro-breaker may say a break also gives their significant other a chance to do all of the aforementioned tasks.
Well what if these weren’t issues for them? What if they didn’t need a damn break to figure all that out! What if they actually used the communication and experiences shared with their significant other to make such assessments? Where does that leave them!
Are “breakers” not concerned about how the “breakee” may feel? You may think this break is temporary, but did you account for possible long-term or permanent effects? You may alienate a person. A breakee may now feel totally abandoned at this point. You essentially left them high and dry. They may be wondering what they did to deserve such treatment. They may begin to resent you, and if that happens, they may not be able to bounce back.
Did you think about their attention possibly being diverted elsewhere? How would you feel if this “break” is the reason they decide to see what else the world has to offer? While you’re out there analyzing your situation or “finding yourself”, they may be getting found by someone else.
When you decide you’re done with your break, what if your significant other is no longer at ease with you? How can they be sure you won’t pull a stunt like this again? You may have essentially broken the trust in your relationship.
For everybody who thinks taking a break is a solution to problems in your relationship, just make sure you can handle the potential backlash, because shit can backfire and come back to bite you IN THE ASS! Just remember, when some things break, the pieces can’t always be put back together.