Tuesday, March 2, 2010

YOU MADE YOUR BED, NOW LAY IN IT!

I want to address a long-standing, unresolved problem that women tend to create for men. The problem: letting a man into your bed with no intentions on gettin’ it poppin’. Simply put, you’ll let a man lay with you, when you’re not trying to fuck! So for those of you who are too dumb, naive, or selfish to understand this, I’m going to break down a few things from the man’s point of view.

About nine out of ten times, if a man gets in your bed, he either has sexual intentions, or will develop sexual intentions. If you share no such intentions, then you need not even let him get that far. Shut him down early if you’re going to shut him down at all. Send him home, make him sleep on the couch, or wherever, as long as it’s not in your bed. I can’t begin to count all of the negative situations that could develop as a result of your willingness to let him sleep with you, coupled with the lack thereof to let him “sleep” with you. With that said, please allow me to highlight a few.

1. Ain’t Nobody Humpin’ Around
You can create a very awkward situation for the two of you when you let him in, but don’t “let him in”. When a man makes a move on you, and it gets shot down, often time he may not know what to do next. “Should I leave? Then I might look like a jerk.” “Should I try again? Then I might seem too thirsty.” Those are just a couple of thoughts running through the man’s mind during the awkward situation. Now he might not feel as comfortable approaching you in situations in or out of the bedroom, because he doesn’t know what you’re thinking about him. You yourself may not know what to think about him or your situation anymore. All because you let him in, but didn’t “let him in”.

2. OOPS! Did I Do Thaaat?
You can leave a man highly frustrated (sexually and emotionally), when you stunt on him in bed. Women, I need you to understand the power of the male erection. Better yet, I need you to understand the impact an erection in “vein” can have on a man. You getting a man hard, then not sexing him is like falsely setting off a fire alarm. You stir up a whole bunch of commotion for nothing. The same way it’d take a while to calm down a crowd of panicking people, is the same way it’d take a while to calm down his erection. It can be a real “head” ache.

3. SIKE!!!
You can make a man resent you for faking him out in the bed. Now don’t try the whole “Well if he’s going to get mad over that, then he doesn’t deserve me” bit. In a man’s mind, what you did was deceitful to him, and that’s just wrong. Think about how you have felt after being deceived. I imagine it wasn’t a good feeling. Men not only share that same ill feeling, but it’s also simultaneously coupled with the afore-mentioned erection that he now has to deal with until it goes away. “DAMMIT” is his first thought at this point. “MAN FUCK HER” might be his last.

4. Beware of Dog
On a much more serious note, whenever you let a man lay with you, and you turn him down for sex, you put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. That’s how rape or other forms of sexual assault can occur. Now of course, in no way, shape, or form does this justify assault, and any man who commits such an act is a low life bastard and should be punished! But women, you open yourselves up to these potentially dangerous situations by letting him into your bed without the common desire for sex.

So to all the pump-faking, cock-teasing, dick-dodging women out there, I want you to hang these thoughts over heads, and over your beds. If you let him stay, you let him lay. If you’re not down with his flow, you make him go.