Wednesday, April 21, 2010



“What’s she doing with his white ass!” “White women are snatching up all our good men!” “Why don’t you find yourself a nice Asian man!” These statements are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the feelings of disapproval that people express toward interracial relationships. This has been an ongoing dilemma for many years, and doesn’t seem to be heading toward a conclusion any time soon. We are so many years removed from colonialism, slavery, the holocaust, etc. Women have taken on positions in which the decisions they make shape the minds of men, and change government policies. Yet we live in a country where the mere presence of a Black person holding hands with a White person, or maybe a Hispanic person holding hands with an Asian person, can bring about scornful looks and remarks from the general public. This seems especially interesting seeing as how the U.S. President is bi-racial. Yes we all tend to call him Black (especially me), but the fact of the matter is President Obama is half Black and half White. So I guess the question is: what’s the problem? What’s the big deal? Let’s analyze some of the stigmas attached to being in an interracial relationship.

1.Choose a Side

Many people try to justify their disapproval of interracial relationships by saying if the couples have children, the children will suffer. They believe this suffering will come in the form of torment, or confusion. I’ve heard people say, other kids will make fun of them because of their mixed race, or a child will not know which culture to embrace or identify with. Let’s be honest people! Kids are going to make fun of other kids for something. If it’s not race, it’s size; if it’s not size it’s looks. So no matter the couple, their kids will need to be prepared for torment. As it pertains to the cultural aspect, who says kids can embrace only one culture? The human brain is capable of accepting many cultures, so two should be no problem. Both my parents are Black, but one is from the American south while the other is from the Caribbean. Two different cultures indeed, but I’ve never had a problem accepting both.

2.What’s Their Problem?

People often try to dissuade others from getting involved in interracial relationships by saying things such as “People are going to look at you funny”, or “Imagine the insults you’re going to hear.” You also have the “statisticians” who’ll point out something like “X amount of interracial couples have been subject to verbal or physical assault blah blah blah.” Is this not really a part of life people? Granted it might be an unfortunate part of life, but a part of life nonetheless. I’m sure I represent a shitload of people when I say that at some point in my adult life, I’ve been looked at funny, insulted, and been involved in verbal or physical confrontations. Often time I’ve been subjected to this by my own people, and I’ve never been in an interracial relationship. Ultimately shit happens.

3.Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

Of course you often can’t speak about these relationships without bringing in the family. There are so many people who will not stay in a relationship with someone they care about because of their parents’, or other family members’ disapproval. At the same time, there are many parents who will not approve of their child dating outside their race. What that could potentially do is lengthen, or make more complicated, a person’s search for the “one”. I personally know families like this, and they all have their reasons. I even understand some of these reasons. Even if the reasons make no sense at all, people are still willing to let go of their happiness just to appease their family. Here’s my thing. As an adult, you should be able to figure out what’s best for you. If my mother didn’t like my current girlfriend (which she does), that doesn’t mean I’d just break it off. You just deal with it. Everybody’s not going to like everybody. I guess at this point, the onus is on the individual to decide if it’s worth losing that special someone just to please others. Will you be pleased at the end of the day? Hell, if you have true family, they’ll get over it!

Now my purpose here is neither to promote nor reject interracial relationships. I’m simply here to give you opinionated folk something more to think about. I want to thank Greg Thomas for inspiring me to write this blog entry. Please feel free to follow and comment on the spot.