Thursday, March 15, 2012
Have you ever been broken-up with and wondered what the reason was? Ever been cut off by someone and left scratching your head as to why? Has someone who was becoming special in your life just stopped calling? Or started dodging? You see where I'm going with this yet?
I'M TALKING ABOUT CLOSURE PEOPLE! You know, the seemingly dying art of actually letting someone know why you don't want to be with them anymore. Giving them a real reason(s). Not some cold-turkey "cutoff", or half-assed line/excuse, etc! Being just as real in ENDING things as you may have seemingly been in STARTING things.
Now as I've done in the past, we'll refer to the person ending the relationship as the "breaker", and the person on the other end, the "breakee". Here's a question for you. Do you feel like the breaker owes it to the breakee to at least attempt to give them some kind of closure? (I say attempt because you'll have those breakees who'll never be satisfied no matter how many reasons they're given. Not much more can be done for them). Should the breakee be hurt/offended by not being given closure? Or should they just suck it up and keep it moving?
Now I'm not talking about one-night stands when I speak of giving closure. I'm sure it's pretty easy to narrow down why you might not have been called back after that. I'm referencing any relationship where you're dating, sexing, or sharing some "significant other" sort of time with each other (committed or not).
For some people, closure may be more than simply being told why a person no longer wishes to be with you. The breakee may want the opportunity to respond to the issues. If not for reasons of rectification, simply to be heard. Regardless of the reason, are they entitled to this dialogue? What good can come of it? Lets chop this up a little bit and see what we come up with.
By giving the breakee closure, you may be able to preserve a friendship. Of course this is dependent upon the nature of the breakup, and if there were a friendship to preserve. Nonetheless, if the opportunity exists, why not take advantage of it? Now some may say the friendship may never be the same. Feelings may always linger. Might it not be worth a roll of the dice try though?
Giving closure may prevent feelings of resentment. The breakee may respect the breaker for showing such courtesy. Some may say if a breaker doesn't give closure, then they probably don't care if you resent them or not. Well maybe they don't, but you might want to think about that vindictive little lady named Karma. Word on the street is she can be a real BITCH at times.
How about the learning aspect of giving closure? By knowing what he/she did to turn the relationship south, the breakee may learn just what to do/not to do with the next person. Hell, this may help the breaker learn how to better communicate with the next person. Maybe discussing issues before they're ready to end a relationship might lead to problems being fixed, and allow a relationship to thrive.
Now if the aforementioned reasons are too debatable, or just not good enough to sway giving closure at the end of a relationship, maybe this last one may help.
SOMETIMES IT'S JUST A MATTER OF COMMON HUMAN DECENCY! IT DOESN'T TAKE THAT MUCH FUCKING ENERGY TO BE A GOOD HUMAN BEING!
Please feel fee to post any and all comments!