THESE ARE THE BREAKS

 “You ever think about taking a break?”  “I think we need some time apart.”  “Maybe it’s time we took a break…from us.”

You may have heard some form of the phrases on T.V., in your friend’s relationship, or maybe even in your own.  If you’re anything like me, your response may be something like “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN A BREAK FROM US?”  Or “SO YOU’RE BREAKING UP WITH ME?”  Now here’s where it gets iffy.  Apparently there are people who don’t see this as a break-up.  They literally see it as a break.  They wish to cut off all contact for some unspecified period of time until they decide if/when they’re ready to be together again.

HOW THE FUCK IS THAT NOT A BREAK-UP?  Seriously people, think about it!  It may be one thing if you’re up under someone everyday in a new or fairly new (unestablished even) relationship.  Then you may want to scale back some.  But I’m not addressing the rookies.  I’m talking about those in firmly established long-term relationships.  The ones that may see marriage as a possibility (or inevitability).  How do you figure a “break” is:  1.Necessary, and 2.Not a break-up?  I guess I’ll take this time to figure the difference people find between the two.

Those who are pro-break seem to simply see it as time apart.

 As an anti-breaker I ask:  Time apart to do what exactly?  See others?  Be alone?  Will there be no seeing each other?  No speaking to each other?  Or both?  Is this some “absence will make the heart grow fonder “ shit?

A pro-breaker may say it gives one time to analyze their situation.

Well what the fuck have you been doing?  Have you just been living in some sort of ignorance?

A pro-breaker may say it can allow them to focus on other aspects of their life.

So is your significant other a distraction?  So much so you need a “break”?  Should you even be with them then?  Is the break supposed to help you figure that out?  If so, then is your question not already answered?

A pro-breaker may say a break also gives their significant other a chance to do all of the aforementioned tasks.

Well what if these weren’t issues for them?  What if they didn’t need a damn break to figure all that out!  What if they actually used the communication and experiences shared with their significant other to make such assessments?  Where does that leave them!

Are “breakers” not concerned about how the “breakee” may feel?  You may think this break is temporary, but did you account for possible long-term or permanent effects?  You may alienate a person.  A breakee may now feel totally abandoned at this point.  You essentially left them high and dry.  They may be wondering what they did to deserve such treatment.  They may begin to resent you, and if that happens, they may not be able to bounce back. 

Did you think about their attention possibly being diverted elsewhere?  How would you feel if this “break” is the reason they decide to see what else the world has to offer?  While you’re out there analyzing your situation or “finding yourself”, they may be getting found by someone else.

When you decide you’re done with your break, what if your significant other is no longer at ease with you?  How can they be sure you won’t pull a stunt like this again?  You may have essentially broken the trust in your relationship.

For everybody who thinks taking a break is a solution to problems in your relationship, just make sure you can handle the potential backlash, because shit can backfire and come back to bite you IN THE ASS!  Just remember, when some things break, the pieces can’t always be put back together.

WHY WOMEN CHEAT... BETTER

Now you may be wondering why this entry isn’t simply titled; “Why Women Cheat." Well contrary to what you may believe, women tend to cheat for the same reasons as men. Don’t believe me? Something told me you wouldn’t. So I took it upon myself to find out from the source. I surveyed a small sample of women as to the reasons why women cheat, and here are my findings.

I GOTTA GET MINE
Many of the women surveyed said women cheat if the sex is wack. No real surprise there. I’ve heard many a woman complain about boring sex, or insufficient sex. We’ve all heard about the infamous “two-minute brother” “two-pump chump”, and what was the name of that song back in the day, “Short Dick Man”? Women have physical needs just like men, and they may stray to have those needs fulfilled. *For the record I’m NOT writing from experience on this one (Scorpios Rule!).

“WHY, WHY? TELLEM THAT IT’S HUMAN NATURE”
Two more of the biggest reasons given for why women cheat are the quest to find more emotionally. Women require attention from a man. Women require love, and caring from a man. Sound familiar? If you’ve read my last blog entry WHY MEN CHEAT  it should. Our needs aren’t all that different from each other. After all, aren’t we all human?
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get down to it. Why do women seem to cheat better? Are they really that much craftier, more conniving, or smarter than us? Although some may argue that this is the case, I choose to look more closely. Let’s get forensic with it.

THE USUAL SUSPECTS
Men have been known for sleeping around with multiple women since the days of concubines. We’ve built up such a reputation for coochy-hopping that we’ve been placed under a constant microscope when it comes to the cheat game. So if the subject of cheating arises, a man is almost always going to be suspected over a woman. It’s like suspecting an ex-con for a crime over a person with no record. If you put the two on a stand and asked “Who done it”, 9 times out of 10 people are going to blame the ex-con. So ask who’s cheating, and it’s almost always going to be the man.

ACT LIKE A LADY
Society has taught us that it’s not in the nature of a woman to cheat. Little girls have been often taught that they are to learn how to take care of a household, including man and child; often in attempt to find a good husband. Little boys have been taught how to be aggressive in school, career, etc. We’re supposed to learn all the ways of the world. So while we’re out learning these ways, we expect a woman to be somewhere “waiting” on us. As you conquer the world, someone may be home conquering your girl. While you think she’s home baking some chicken, she just might be getting some dick in.

THINK LIKE A MAN
A man is usually less willing to believe his woman would cheat on him than vice versa. This can be attributed to male ego. His pride can be his own worst enemy. I’m sure you’ve heard plenty of men say stuff like “I got the pussy on lock”, or “She ain’t goin’ nowhere”. Men have long been taught that no “real man” let’s another man take his woman. The problem is that opinions can differ on the definition of a real man. A real man doesn’t just assume his woman won’t cheat. A real man will make sure he keeps his woman satisfied physically, emotionally, and otherwise so she doesn’t want to cheat.

So why do women seem to be better at the cheat game? Are they slicker, sharper, or just plain better? I’m not sure, but I have my doubts. What I do know is they have better cards up their sleeves. DUECES!