Tuesday, September 7, 2010

WHY MEN CHEAT




“WHY DO MEN CHEAT?”  This has been a question posed by women since waaaay before I was born.  This has been a question that many men have avoided as much as possible.  This has been a question that many men don’t have the answer to.  This has been a question that many men have given answers to.  This has been a question that whether men have avoided it, not known the answer to it, or actually answered it, results in the same general reaction from women:  They’re just as dissatisfied as they were before they asked, and they continue to ask this question.  Well ladies, I’m going to attempt to satisfy your craving for the answers to your question, but like most other men, I probably won’t please all of you (all pun intended).
IT’S MY CAKE, WHY SHOULDN’T I EAT IT?
So let’s start off by getting the obvious, shallow reasons out of the way.  Some men are just plain greedy.  They want to jump as many bones as they can whether they’re in a relationship or not.  They’ll even try to justify their greed by expressing a sense of entitlement.  I remember back in my undergrad days, a guy I know once said, “Why would God have given me a lifetime of sperm if he didn’t want me to spread my seed?”  Now I’m not saying what he said didn’t have some legitimate sense to it, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think that statement was inspired by greed.
“IT’S YOU OK! I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!”
Some men cheat because that’s how they were raised (albeit intentionally or not).  They may come up as children watching their father run around with different women.  I personally know (and know of) men whose fathers would take them along when they would go to be with their various women.  They’ll tell you, that was the life they knew then, so that’s the life they live now.
PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!
Now here’s a shell shocker for some of you women out there.  As much as you may complain about weak sex from men, please understand that wack pussy does exist!  Yeah I said it!  Bad sex can definitely turn a man to seek sex elsewhere.  What constitutes crappy cooch?  Well that’s a matter of opinion.  Some of you like to be lazy during sex.  Some of you like to be plain during sex.  Some of you just don’t know what you’re doing and don’t try to learn.
WHAT THE FUCK! (WHERE’S THE FUCK IS MORE LIKE IT)
…But to the women who are giving up the weak buns…AT LEAST YOU’RE GIVING IT UP!  Which leads me to another reason men cheat; a total lack of sex.  In case you haven’t figured it out by now, the average guy likes sex.  Scratch that.  THE AVERAGE GUY LOVES SEX!  If you deprive that man of that which he’s come to love, why wouldn’t he seek it elsewhere?  Now I’m not saying that sex is everything, but it’s a major thing!
WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS
We’ve all probably heard the term “Nobody wants you until you’re taken”.  The very truth in this statement can attribute to a man going astray.  At this point some of you ladies might be saying “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE”, but just hear me out.  Women are used to men pursuing them; it’s in our very nature to skirt-chase.  So when a woman is spoken for, and a man tries to get at them, it’s generally believed that she can turn him down with no sweat (I stress GENERALLY believed).  However, when women decide they want a taken man, he might be in a bit more of a pickle.  As I said earlier, a man is used to hunting, not being the prey.  So when a woman goes after him, he may not be readily prepared ward her off.  If she’s aggressive enough, the flesh can get weak, and before you know it he’s all shacked up.  Now you ladies may still be saying “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE”, but I know you feel me at least a little bit (jus don’t feel me too much, after all I am a man).
BOYS WILL BE BOYS.
You know how women are always saying how guys can be so immature, or act like children?  Well if you’ve ever made such a claim then you should also understand that we need almost as much attention as a child.  Just think about it:  We want you to feed us, clean up around us, care for us when we’re sick, and generally pay attention to us (except during the game).  If a child is not getting adequate attention from their mother, then they may very likely turn to their father.  If a man is not getting adequate attention from his woman, he may very well set his sights on another woman.
Now I know plenty of you wish to make the statement “Well if it’s that bad that he must cheat then why doesn’t he just leave”.  I plan to answer that in my next blog entry.  In the mean time, what I suggest you do is take what I’ve given you, and use it to lay down the blueprint on how to reduce the odds of a man going astray.  Outside of the greedy man, the purpose of the examples I gave is to show you ladies that it’s going to take work, probably hard work to keep a man faithful.  Don’t let this get you down though.  After all, aren’t the best things in life hardest fought for?

The Image above is from the movie "Hav Plenty"

11 comments:

  1. I can't say that I disagree with much of what you said EXCEPT for one thing!! "Boys will be boys"..?? This may be true but women need to put their foot done on things they will and will not allow! Even if it means being SINGLE!! Yes I said it, being single! Most of the time it's women searching for companionship and bc of that they're willing to accept just about anything just to have that man EVEN IF that man isn't completely theirs! Unfortunately, for a woman to follow this and be headstrong on her beliefs she will have to accept the fact that she will 9 times out of 10 remain single bc there is always one willing to accept the bullshit that you won't! So then you have women falling in line with all the other low class, low self-esteem women! Endless cycle and no one wins BUT the men!

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  2. America will become a polygamist society. I have already given up.

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  3. LOL, your a funny guy! So men are actually the victims when it comes to cheating, huh.... In your post all of the responsibility lies w/ other people/factors, lol, except for the GREED clause. And your last paragraph - WHAAAAAAT!! LOL! Is this comedy? - "it’s going to take work, probably hard work to keep a man faithful. Don’t let this get you down though. After all, aren’t the best things in life hardest fought for?" LOL!! Your crazy yo, I'll be back to comment 4real tho :-) Love it, Love U!!

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  4. I like how Maquinta touched on being "SINGLE", that is good stuff right there.

    Definitely agree w/ the greed. I think most men are cowards when it comes to women tho. Just say it yo, whatever it is, just say it!

    I believe image is also a factor when it comes to cheating. Guys tend to compliment, almost praise other guys in saying... "that dude right there, he gets chics." Men want to BE THAT DUDE that gets mad chics, yup plural. The guy w/ mad chics is the man right?

    Then the obvious to me, men cheat b/c they can, its easy to cheat when there are no consequences so why not.

    Working hard to keep a man faithful, get the hell outta here, lol! You killed me w/ that yo, WOW! When does the expression "MAN UP" apply to men? Be honest w/ your woman or women, damn stop cheating, your not even good at it, lol!

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  5. MAQUINTA, I'M NOT AGAINST WOMEN PUTTING THEIR FOOT DOWN AND NOT TAKING A BUNCH OF B.S., BUT 9 OUT OF 10 TIMES SEEMS A BIT EXTREME. KEESHA, I'M NOT SAYING MEN ARE VICTIMS. NOR AM I JUSTIFYING THEM CHEATING. I'M TELLING YOU THINGS THAT CAN LEAD A MAN TO CHEAT. AND YES IT DOES TAKE WORK TO KEEP A MAN FAIR, JUST AS IT TAKES WORK TO KEEP A WOMAN THE SAME. THAT'S NOT SO CRAZY. YOU WORK HARD (IDEALLY)AT YOUR JOB DON'T YOU? IF YOU DON'T, YOUR BOSS MAY FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO HELP THE SITUATION. SO TO YOUR "MAN UP", I SAY WOMEN NEED TO STEP THE HELL UP!

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  6. I like the boys will be boys and when it rains it pours examples the most.

    Exactly what Nitty says about women working hard at work and needing to apply that same intensity to relationships. That was a big issue in one of my relationships. Just like work may be fast paced, but a woman makes sure she keeps up with it and grinds out, a relationship needs that same intensity. We understand life is tough but if you value something, in this case a relationship, then you need to act like it.

    And as far as becoming the prey. YES! I think women, most women, are hesitant to fully engage with a single male because they are afraid of the rejection so they allow him to chase till he shows all his cards before they give in. When a man becomes committed to one female though these same women, who may have entertained dude, think of the possibility that he could have been in a relationship with them if they didn't play games. That's when females become more forward with dude to the point of even pursuit because he must have great qualities, they didn't take the time to discover, if another female wants to tie him down.

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  7. I pretty much agree with all you've said in this post. I think you've covered some of the major reasons men cheat, but only on a very basic and superficial level. In order to cheat on someone you have to be in a relationship and if you're in a relationship it's assumed that you trust and love (or at least care deeply for) the other person and I think this is where the disconnect is and why women never accept the kinds of answers you've given above. Yes, bad sex/no sex can exist -or not exist- in relationships, but if you love and trust the person you're with why not communicate with them and let them know there's a problem rather than resorting to cheating? Or, as in the other examples, "boys will be boys"/"that's how I was raised," the question then becomes, "If we have a loving, trusting relationship what makes you feel its ok to put your selfish 'needs' above my feelings?" I think these are the real questions behind the question of why men cheat that women really want to know the answer to. Again, assuming love/trust/respect within a relationship, why do you feel its ok to be selfish, to disrespect me, to not communicate with me, etc? I don't know if an acceptable answer to those questions even exists.

    I agree that relationships take work on all levels, even when it comes to keeping your man faithful. It's not an excuse, but I do think it's true, and I think it goes both ways. We all know that men are not the only ones guilty of cheating. I'm generalizing, but in my opinion a lot of times a woman has to feel wronged in some way before she cheats, whereas men will just do whatever they feel.

    A lot of it comes down to people being in relationships when they're not really ready for that commitment, wheather it's because they just fell into something, don't want to miss out on someone or just don't want to be lonely.

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  8. wow. that comment was real long! sorry. :)

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  9. @ Stephanie C. I've spoken to men that didn't feel they were putting their 'needs' above their girl's feelings... because they did everything they could to hide it from her so she wouldn't get hurt HAHAHA

    i have also spoken to other women who have made agreements with their men on when and with whom they can cheat. now, from the outside looking in it is easy to say she's weak or soft or has low self-esteem... but i say, "Swingers of the world, Unite!" (not that i am one though)

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  10. My answer to this is simple. A man can only do to you what you let him do to you. Whether it is cheating, verbal/physical abuse, etc.

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  11. IF ONLY IT WERE THAT SIMPLE LATOYA. THERE ARE PLENTY OF WOMEN WHO WOULDN'T JUST LET THEIR MAN CHEAT ON THEM, BUT THEY MAY NOT KNOW. IT'S NOT LIKE MEN DON'T TRY TO HIDE THEIR DIRT.

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